Know before you go:

Things we considered:

Not All Centers Are Created Equal

Keep in mind this is our own personal story so I will only share what we learned and helpful experiences. The main thing from my parent perspective is the sober moments my son experienced in the centers made time for conversation, reflection, and even memorable moments of connection. I also want you to know that just because something doesn't work the first time, or a few times, it may click with you at a different time.  This is mainly due to being human.

Please know your insurance benefits ahead of time and which facility is covered.  Some facilities will charge a non - network flat rate and then use scholarship money. 

If you are visiting this site and you are a parent: 

Once your child is 18 navigating rehab facilities and behavioral health centers becomes more difficult. Your child is now an adult and what I learned is it was up to my child to admit himself. It is possible your 18 year old is in their graduating year needing to complete required courses but also needs to go to rehab to get on the right track.  Some questions to ask your chosen facility are as follows: 

·   Do you have a case manager to be a go between?  This go between person works with the school, you, and your child. 

·  Is there a set time for school work and is this set time supervised?

·  When are visiting hours?

·  Will you be able to talk with people regarding your child's progress? If so, please make sure all paperwork is in order for this to happen. Make sure your child has given approval for this if necessary. In some places, if your child doesn't give written approval for a parent to stay informed, it is possible you will not be. I personally didn't experience this, but observed it with others. 

·  What clothes and toiletries will your child need?  

·  How long is treatment?

·  Can your child leave if they or you feel this isn't working? If they can leave at their own will, who is allowed to pick them up?

·  What type of treatment is used? In other words, how do they help with detox, is counseling part of the process, are group sessions mandatory, can medicine be refused, and is there aftercare?

·  When and how often will you be able to talk with your child?

·  Will my child have access to a computer to email teachers? 

·  What type of program will be put in place upon discharge? What I mean by this is, it is helpful to have routines in place, coping mechanisms, and an agreed upon way to work through issues at home regarding curfew, driving, rules, expectations, etc. We put in place a way to communicate and work through some of the expectations to alleviate triggers. This was done with the help of the center upon discharge. 

If this is for yourself as an adult or for an adult loved one: 

Some of the same questions above would apply.  What I would add to this is:

·  Will you have access to call work and family?

·  How long is the detox program?

·  How long is the follow up treatment program? 

·  Are you allowed to leave on your own if you don't want to stay?

·  Should you choose to leave before the end of treatment, what happens if you need to come back the next day? (This really happens)

·  Will follow up medications be filled before leaving? 

·  Can I make follow up doctor appointments before leaving? 

·  Is there outpatient care available after discharge?

·  Do I have to stay with these doctors after I leave? 

·  What happens if you do not participate in meetings by choice? 

·  Are visitors allowed to bring food when they come? Some places have visitors meet in cafeteria settings.

·  What if my loved ones are working during visiting hours? Can anything be done about this? 

·  If my family would need to get a hold of me, who do they contact? (this is usually a nurses station and/or case manager) 

·  Once you are admitted and sober, verify your information and emergency contacts. (I say this because if you are brought in by someone random or a friend, and you're not sober or in the right frame of mind, it is possible, the person who brought you is now your emergency contact.  That may be okay if it is who you want it to be. Verifying this when sober will help clear it up if it is not. 

This is just a sampling of thoughts and questions. I hope it is helpful for you on your journey. 

Things to Consider When Considering a Sober Living Center

Not All Sober Living Centers Are Created Equal

Just like rehab centers, Sober Living Centers differ.  One thing to keep in mind is the type of lifestyle you are needing.  In our situation, my adult child's job was farther away and he needed to use public transportation.  Where we live, there's transportation but not so sophisticated as other cities. A reminder:  I will only speak on our own situation. 

Having a plan to live where there is a way to easily get to work mattered, so finding a place with bus stops close by was key.  Also, it is not mandatory to go to a sober center because you went to rehab.  In our situation, my adult son tried different centers at different times in his life.  He lived with friends in apartments, lived alone at times renting, and also lived in various sober centers. When he chose to live there it was due to recognizing there he had greater success in staying sober while living there as well as lower rent since it is a more communal way of life. It was near transportation, some of his rent went to food service, meetings were built in at the center, and some of the sober centers have case managers which act as liaisons to medical care outside of the center, and help with employment.  These features were very beneficial to success for my son. Others might consider this too confining. If this is the case, and you still are looking for sober centers, there are more independent centers with housing, however, each center has its own set of rules and expectations.  No matter what, there will be chores, and some meeting requirements. If you are considering sober living, here are some questions to ask the centers: 

·  How much is rent? How often is it due? 

·  How long can a person stay at the center? 

·  How many roommates are possible? Average age of residents?

·  Do they provide bedding, furniture, storage, linens?

·  Laundry facilities?

·  Shuttles? California has some places that offered shuttles to grocery stores, activities, outside meetings, and social events. 

·  What is the food situation? Where is your own food stored, can you have a mini fridge, is food provided in a cafeteria/meeting setting through rent, is there a set mealtime if food is provided? 

·  How many meetings are required and what is expected if you are working and cannot attend? 

·  What chores are required and how are they decided?  Again, what is expected if you are at work during chores time?

·  Is there drug testing? If so, how is this handled? 

·  Will I have a case manager and what will they help with?

·  Do I need to remain employed while living at the center?  If I lose my job, how long can I stay while looking for another one?

·  If you are someone who is receiving food stamp assistance, you can ask if any of the assistance applies to rent. This might apply if food is being provided by the center. 

·  Curfews?

·  Visitors?

·  There may be a time where you just need a break - you will want to ask if you can stay out overnight and ask what the expectations are.  Be prepared that if it is okay to stay out, you might get randomly drug tested upon arrival. Some places do this and some do not. 

·  Mail - how is it dispersed each day?

·  Can prescriptions be delivered while at work or away? If so, is it locked up until I come home? (You do not want these set aside in your room until you arrive home for safety reasons)

·  Socializing: This looks different depending on the center, age group, and the staff. In my adult son's experience, one place was not a fit. It had younger people and too many planned events for his liking.  The events for him, were more of a trigger.  Ask about ages of residents, ask about turnover of residents, ask if turnover is due to relapse or relocating? There are some centers with less activity, more gathering space to spread out, older population who are working and wanting privacy more than a social life. You just need to ask about the environment.  

Keep in mind many centers are run by a corporate or private group and they have various residences available.  If one doesn't workout, they can tell you about other houses in their system that might be a better fit.  Get to know the house managers and admin as well as counselors at the center.  Make sure you have their phone numbers so if you do decide to move elsewhere, but then change your mind, you have a direct line to someone who knows you.